My wife is a very attractive woman, and she's always worried about her diet. But she doesn't pay attention to me, and I don't pay attention to her. She's a vegetarian, and it drives me crazy.
I’ve been fighting to be who I am all my life. What’s the point of being who I am, if I can’t have the person who was worth all the fighting for?
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Stephanie Lennox
There comes a time in your life when you have to choose to turn the page, write another book or simply close it.
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Shannon L. Alder
If you have the woman you love, what more do you need? Well, besides an alibi for the time of her husband’s murder.

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Unknown
I know what it is to live entirely for and with what I love best on earth. I hold myself supremely blest -- blest beyond what language can express because I am my husband's life as fully as he is mine.
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Unknown
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
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Rodney Dangerfield
More Quotes By Alan King
If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate books.
We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some would say certain of these refer to the stereotypical, or 'stage' Jew. But objectively speaking, the only crime in humor is an unfunny joke.
If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.
And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.
There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform, I told him, 'You're doing a Jewish act.'
